Useful Resources to
OPEN THE GATE to INCREASE your
LISTENING LEADERSHIP PERFORMANCE

BETTER LISTENING =
BETTER LEADERSHIP

A Letter from Rick

Listening is …
the heart and soul of leadership;
the ultimate leadership competence;
the lifeblood of relationship;
the essence of respect; and
the spirit of life.

I have spent the past 30 years studying, practicing, teaching, researching, and writing about LISTENING and its direct connection to LEADERSHIP. I have realized one main thing: IF YOU LISTEN BETTER, YOU WILL LEAD BETTER. Why? Because listening is at the core of all human behavior and especially at the root of effective leadership. Listening is the thing we do the most of in our life, except breathing.

ARE YOU ONE OF THEM? It’s estimated that the majority of adults do not have any formal listening education. Yet, the average person misunderstands, ignores or forgets at least 75% of what they listen to. ‘Listening’ is definitely not the same thing as ‘hearing’. The costs of poor listening are too high to ignore, including loss of relationships, opportunities, trust, respect, credibility, money, and even loss of life, just to name a few. People lose when they don’t listen!

This website contains both free and affordable resources for you to increase your LISTENING LEADERSHIP performance. It consists of the Listening Seeds blog, the Listening Pays book, articles, assessments, one-on-one listening and leadership coaching, courses, seminars, podcasts, speeches, and retreats. I have also created the Listening Pays Facilitators Certification Program for qualified professionals in which you will be equipped by me to deliver the Listening Pays Workshop to your organization.

Join me on the journey. I encourage you to invest your time, effort, and energy in your listening leadership performance. It is a lifelong process and the results will prove invaluable to you. It has for me. LISTENING PAYS!

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Rick Bommelje, Ed.D., CLP
Lifelong Listening Student

THE POWER OF THE PAUSE

THE POWER OF THE PAUSE

By on June 25, 2016

PAUSEIt is the call the parent of a teenager dreads. The policeman phoned at 2:30 A.M. to tell this single mother that her daughter is at the police station. She had been picked up in the wake of a wild party. Relieved that her daughter was not hurt, the mother’s attention quickly turned to disappointment and anger. The two of them had been fighting for weeks and now the daughter had broken both the agreement with her mom and the curfew of the town.

The mother hurriedly gathered her things, stormed out of the house, cursing her daughter for the embarrassment this would cause the family when the news appeared in their small-town paper the next day. As she drove to the station, silently praying that none of her neighbors would see her, she vented loudly about what she planned to tell her daughter for “screwing up yet again.”

And then . . . she remembered a phrase from a coaching workshop series she was attending as a leader at work: Breakdowns can lead to breakthroughs… She stopped ranting long enough to pause. And hear herself talk . . . and wonder what had gone wrong. And pull over to the side of the road for a minute to settle her breathing. And shed tears as she recognized in that moment the pain she felt in her sense of separation from her daughter. And vow to herself to find a path to a breakthrough starting that night.

And so . . . after she signed the papers at the police station, she began the “long” drive home — with her daughter sitting sullenly in the back seat refusing to engage. In the awkward silence that ensued, the mother finally opened her mouth to speak. The daughter instantly geared up to protest, anticipating yet another big fight, but was stunned to hear her mother say, “It must be hard to be 16 these days. I would like to hear what it is like for you when you’re ready.” And from that pause, the deep listening began . . .

The mother learned that listening is not half of a transaction but rather the whole of an incubation. Rather than perpetuating the same old story with her daughter, she paused long enough to create the space for a different story to become possible. Somewhere within any breakdown are the seeds of a breakthrough waiting to be born. Is that not what coaching is all about?

Story Source: Dr. David Drake

LISTENING PAYS: One way to insert a powerful pause is simply to take a deep breath before responding. The payoff is huge!

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LISTENING LEADERS ARE SEARCHERS AND SEEKERS

LISTENING LEADERS ARE SEARCHERS AND SEEKERS

By on May 23, 2016

Listening leaders are searchers and seekers. They cultivate a listening habit of curiosity. Although they recognize the simple reality, ‘We cannot listen to all people talk on all things at all times,” productive listeners are careful not to turn off

WARNING NOT LISTENNG

THE COSTS OF NOT LISTENING ARE MOUNTING UP!

By on April 23, 2016

THE COSTS ARE MOUNTING UP! The following real example submitted by a listening leader, who wants to go anonymous, shows what happens when listening breakdowns occur. “I am a part of a sales team for a retail store in a

PAY ATTENTION 2

THE HARD WORK OF ATTENTION

By on March 28, 2016

In the best selling book The Road Less Traveled, author M. Scott Peck emphasizes the work of attention. He states that “Listening well is an exercise of attention and by necessity hard work. It is because most people do not

TRULY LISTEN 1

TRULY LISTEN

By on February 24, 2016

If you truly want to manifest the act of love, then listen. Listen with attention, listen with abandonment of your point of view, listen with total dedication to another’s vision, listen with intent to hear their meanings, their intent not